“The social connections pillar on BetterSpace covers a range of topics, from healthy relationships, parenting and combatting loneliness. My social skills, on the face of it are always noted as being my strongest strength, I’m outgoing, extroverted and can/will connect with just about anyone in a social scenario. Some might say my ‘social connections’ pillar should be the last I’m trying to work on.
However, I really struggle to end relationships that I know are doing me more harm than good, I don’t mean with my partner, but friendships and family relationships.
This is something I struggle to talk about openly, and would rather bury it, ignore the persons texts and phone calls without giving an explanation as to why, which just results in anxiety whenever I go to a place where I know I could potentially bump into them, going to the supermarket for a shop is quite a struggle for me, with the fear of confronting the person and not knowing what to do or say. Being honest and ending the relationship certainly isn’t an option due to the fear of hurting the person.
I watched a series of videos on BetterSpace, predominantly from a YouTube channel called ‘The School of Life’ and although these videos were aimed at romantic relationships, partner, husband, wife etc, I was able to translate the key messages to the relationship I struggle with. In particular ‘The Fear of Ending a Relationship’ video really struck a chord with me and helped me understand where my fear of ending relationships established from, that the fear is very much in my own mind and that the thing I am “fearing” has essentially already happened, the relationship is not what I want it to be, nor what the other person wants it to be so has seemingly ended already. Giving an explanation is not something that is now going to hurt the person more but would be the kind thing to do to provide closure.
This is a topic I’ve struggled to navigate as it’s a quite unique scenario and finding someone who can relate to has been difficult, therefore having BetterSpace has allowed me to change my attitude from blocking the issue out of my life, trying to find someone that can relate or “tell me what to do” to solve my issue, to actually understanding the reason behind my fear and allowing me to go back to the root cause and find a solution.
BetterSpace has helped me open my mind to trying to tackle my problem head on, with a deeper knowledge of my issue and improve my social connections, which are often a lot deeper issues than trying to be confident in a social scenario.“